Ramblin Cowboys!

Lately I've been preparing myself for the spring semester and I've been trying to figure out how to get into the best mental state for studying and working without feeling like a robot.
My excuse as a teenager for not doing better in school was the typical lost teenage who needed to rebel story. I would tell myself that I'd be living a meaningless life, a slave to the public school system, and I wouldn't be fulfilling my inner self. But of course this was covering up what my true issue was, which was procrastination.
However nowadays I have come to the realization that no matter what, what I do in school will always embolden and empower me. That doesnt eliminate my tendency towards procrastination, but it definitely helps combat it.
What I've been searching for lately is something that is a constant subject which pushes me forward through my goals and objectives.
I've been scouring the depths of google, and the only thing I've come up with so far haven't been satisfying. I come across the same answers again and again. Practice and you will get better, motivational posters, etc. I just want something with more depth.
However I did find one story that caught my eye.
"Many years later, meeting the challenges of adult life, I was surprised and pleased to discover that perhaps I was not so stupid after all, and then with great effort, set out to kill this false belief, this false image of myself. I achieved more than what I could dream of. Yet this dark shadow persists to lurk in the background of my subconscious and it comes forward whenever I meet with failure like a joker prancing around in my head singing ‘you see, you see, we are stupid after all. Not only that but some family members still see me as ‘the girl with her head in the clouds’ and delight in reminding me of that whenever they can. It still hurts, so I lose my self-confidence inwardly and end up by sabotaging myself, giving up whatever I had in mind to do."
I completely relate to this. I realized I was smart about this time last year, and decided to have my first 4.0 semester. I did it, passed algebra, biology, and more that spring. It was probably the greatest thing I had accomplished since going to Germany in high school.
I always have my looming shadow though. For instance, tomorrow night I'm playing my cello at the Conservatory and I'm super pumped. I just hate that at the same time I still have this voice inside of me telling me I can't play worth a shit and that I shouldn't even show up. This voice carries over into anything I try to do that would be considered ambitious. I've overcome it before, but never really with music. I feel like tomorrow I may do what I never could before, but time will tell. I just want to play the music I like, and be capable of what I want.
I want to pinpoint my driving motivation again, however this time I have no looming specter like math, nor do I have anything that really intimidates me. But I still want a 4.o this spring.
I think over the next few days I need to find my inner strength since it has changed since I last used it, I just am not quite sure where to start.

Why I Like Kid Cudi

I've become an avid fan of Kid Cudi for the past month or so, I think he's an original artist with a great sound. One phenomenon I've come across though is a large amount of people I've talked to who simply hate him. I don't fully understand why people hate him, but I definitely have a few reasons as to why you shouldn't.

Reason number one, he is a new genre. He didn't create it, but he definitely set the standard. He's basically a hybrid of psychedelic and hip hop. I'd compare it with Pet Sounds and Animal Collective, simply because of its originality. Kid Cudi isn't crazy like Brian Wilson, but he does blaze trails like him.
Reason number two, I really like his lyrics. They showcase the inner thoughts of an intelligent and successful musician. Its also interesting to hear what hip hop has to say on the world of psychedelics and exploring the mind. I also enjoy the fact that his upbringing shows up in his lyrics. He grew up losing his dad at a young age, and it obviously had a large impact on him. I also feel like you can hear the "zeitgeist" of America right now when you're listening to his lyrics.
Reason number three, I like how it sounds. It's just really catchy, and personally my favorite song is "Pursuit of Happiness".

I really like the attitude of this song. The imagery not so much, but he makes up for that in my final reason for liking Kid Cudi.
The artwork is great. I like the original but modern style.

Either way, get a copy of his album Man on the Moon and find out for yourself.